'I will destroy the Lords of Dogtown!'

(By Erik)

It has long been my conviction that the movies are today are sorely lacking in truly great villains — the really fun-to-watch kind that make elaborate-yet-obvious plans for world domination and get righteously mad at the noble protagonist (or protagonists) for no apparent reason.

I firmly believe that most movies would be improved with the addition of a super-villain who, at one point in the film, shakes his fist in the air and yells “I will destroy the (insert name of film here).”

Here’s a list of films that I feel would be improved by the addition of such a character. To demonstrate, just hold your fist in the air, snarl, grit your teeth and proclaim:

"I will destroy The Usual Suspects!"

"I will destroy 12 Angry Men!"

"I will destroy the Honeymoon in Vegas!"

"I will destroy Citzen Kane!"

"I will destroy the Goodfellas!"

"I will destroy the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!"

"I will destroy the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" (Wait, I think that line actually was in the movie.)

"I will destroy the Three Men and a Baby!"

"I will destroy the Three Men and a Little Lady!" (sequel)

"I will destroy The Neverending Story!"

"I will destroy the Taxi Driver!"

"I will destroy the Baby Geniuses!"

"I will destroy The Color Purple!"

"I will destroy the Sling Blade!"

"I will destroy the Sleepless in Seattle!"

"I will destroy the Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo!" (Doesn't really work, but couldn't resist typing "Boogaloo.")

"I will destroy the Pretty Woman!"

"I will destroy the 10 Things I Hate About You!"

"I will destroy The Wedding Singer!"

"I will destroy the Being John Malkovich!"

"I will destroy The Importance of Being Earnest!"

"I will destroy The Bridges of Madison County!" (Wait, I think the line was in that movie, too)

Feel free to post a comment and add to the list — if you dare! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

("Wow, he actually wrote out his villain laugh." — Arthur, from the cartoon series The Tick.)